I haven't been in the blogging world for some time, though I have missed my writing.
Over the past however many months it has been since I last wrote, I have been adjusting and learning to live as an independent young lady. It hasn't been easy...at times it's been a huge, downright frustrating struggle.
Everyone goes through growing up and learning to be on your own at somepoint, but it's been a unique and very fast experience for me...after being overly sheltered for so long.
The Lord has been with me though and continues to be with me...growing me to be more like Him, while giving me the strength and courage to tackle the simple and not-so-simple issues of everyday life.
I am now working a full-time job that I love, driving my own car, paying my own bills, and looking forward to the day when I will be married to the most wonderful man I have ever met, Blake.
I can go see a good movie without feeling guilty for going to such an evil place as the "movie theatre".
I can occasionally go splurge on a pretty dress and wear it without feeling guilty for enjoying a pretty outfit.
I can wear earrings every day without wondering whether or not it is "godly" to put something in my ears that God didn't create there.
I can pursue interests I always wanted to pursue, like going to self defense classes and gun shows without my parents refusing to let me go (I was 20 at the time) and telling me that doing such things is not "ladylike" or is "wrong".
I can work full time and love my job and be good at my job without feeling sad or guilty that I'm not already a stay at home wife/mom.
I can go to a church filled with non-legalistic people who love the Lord and each other without being guilty for leaving the self-righteous group of believers I was surrounded by for so long.
A few months ago I walked onto a car lot and bought a newer car because my old, temporary one had, well, croaked. After some negotiating advice from my fiance's dad and my fiance, I marched onto the lot, scared and worried because all my life I thought only men were supposed to negotiate such things. And guess what? I made myself a good deal and drove away in a newer, good car, and the care salesperson shook their head at me and remarked, "You're one tough cookie." That seems like such a strange thing to be excited about, but for me, that was a huge step...huge. I was so excited.
Life still has it's difficulties...and it's hurts and it's fears...as to be expected...but the Lord is with me and I will one day be married to a wonderful man. Despite the pain of growing...the pain of losing my family...the pain of continuing trials...I am blessed.
And I'm still learning...I always will be.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
The Battle
It's daily.
To wake up every morning...and feel a twinge of sickness over the mistakes of the day before. How can God possibly forgive me of all my faults? Why can't I be good enough for Him? How can He possibly be pleased with me? Why won't this constant guilt go away? I'm so tired of trying, so tired of fighting...
I know the answers, and I know the relief of freedom and healing, but these days...the relief just never seems to come.
I'm so tired.
To wake up every morning...and feel a twinge of sickness over the mistakes of the day before. How can God possibly forgive me of all my faults? Why can't I be good enough for Him? How can He possibly be pleased with me? Why won't this constant guilt go away? I'm so tired of trying, so tired of fighting...
I know the answers, and I know the relief of freedom and healing, but these days...the relief just never seems to come.
I'm so tired.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Changes
Looking at some pictures today and thinking...I would like to briefly address this issue of "modesty" in the patriarchal crowd by providing two significant pictures from my own life.
Here I am about two years ago, assisting one of my cousins with a conference for young ladies (the conference was very much a spin-off of things ATI, as you can see by my "godly" attire):
There's no way I would wear that outfit now unless I was going to another country to preach the gospel and that was their clothing style. (Then I might do so.) Now I will clarify that on a day to day basis I did not dress like this, though I usually did wear things like that to church during high school and my first years of college. My family was not as strict on clothes as some people in the vision forum/Gothard/Botkin crowd. Until my junior-senior years of college, my daily attire typically consisted of a rather unstylish conglomeration of whatever I thought looked best on me...including high-waisted jeans (they were more "modest" than bootcut), and what I wore was usually a size too big because I was pretty much taught that nothing I wore should show much shape...occasionally a long dress could make an exception with that. I always felt like I looked so fat in my "modest" clothes. Those clothes in the picture above...I no longer own those. When I left home, I left those clothes and every bit of clothing I had like them. I will be honest. I am very grateful that my parents provided me with lots of clothes, but many of those clothing items I never want to see again...simply because I realize now how unflattering and legalistic they are. Like the words "authority" and "godly" and "modest", I cringe at the idea of a long skirt simply because of its association to my previous lifestyle. Don't take me wrong; some long skirts are very pretty and modesty has its proper place. But now I rarely wear a dress or a skirt that is longer than a few inches below my knee. And I avoid regular t-shirts as well. I wore t-shirts a lot growing up, partially because some of my t-shirts were the only things that actually fit me and I secretly wanted to wear clothes that fit me, like other girls, though I felt sinful for doing so.
Now here is a picture of me since I have moved out and managed to obtain some new and stylish clothing items (through the help of generous people and the clearance racks). And yes, that is my fiance with me in the picture and yes he is actually hugging me; (proponents of patriarchy, cover your eyes and sorry for the sarcasm):
Though outward appearance holds no weight in our salvation, I find these photos an interesting comparison for thought, evidence of what was and is going on in my heart. Legalism vs walking in the freedom of Christ. It is purely through the work of Christ that we are saved, not our outward apearances and "duty lists." Through His grace and love He transforms the hearts of those who believe in Him and makes them pure and righteous and gives them a desire to obey the commands that He does place in Scripture...and even though we mess up daily, He still loves us and sees us as righteous and covered with the blood of Christ.
My pastor is currently preaching through the book of Galatians and this morning he used an illustration that brought tears to my eyes. Imagine that it's Mother's Day or Father's Day...and each of your children makes you a card. One brings a card that is perfect, spotless, great penmanship...but they hand it to you with a look of "Ok, I've done my duty; here's your card." The other brings a card that is messy, hardly recognizable and has some milk or something spilled on it. And the child says, "Look, here's your card! I made it for you because I love you!" Which do you prefer?
As we as believers grow and walk in Christ, we must run to the beauty of the gospel daily, resting in His grace as He grows us in Christ, seeking Him as He gives us the love to truly follow and obey Him. And He takes our imperfect pictures and cards and loves them because we are His children.
Go and walk in the freedom and grace of Christ, realizing that is through His work alone that we are able to love Him and believe in Him. But don't abuse that freedom; obey His commands, not because it's your duty, but because He has placed the desire in your heart to obey Him because you love Him. And don't add to those commands; always remember...obeying rules won't make you a better Christian. You might look good on the outside, but it won't change your standing before God one bit. If you are a believer in Christ, you are covered by His blood and righteousness. If you are not a believer, you are not righteous no matter what you do to look righteous. It is only by the grace of God and the blood of Jesus Christ that you can be made righteous.
I cannot stress this enough.
Here I am about two years ago, assisting one of my cousins with a conference for young ladies (the conference was very much a spin-off of things ATI, as you can see by my "godly" attire):
There's no way I would wear that outfit now unless I was going to another country to preach the gospel and that was their clothing style. (Then I might do so.) Now I will clarify that on a day to day basis I did not dress like this, though I usually did wear things like that to church during high school and my first years of college. My family was not as strict on clothes as some people in the vision forum/Gothard/Botkin crowd. Until my junior-senior years of college, my daily attire typically consisted of a rather unstylish conglomeration of whatever I thought looked best on me...including high-waisted jeans (they were more "modest" than bootcut), and what I wore was usually a size too big because I was pretty much taught that nothing I wore should show much shape...occasionally a long dress could make an exception with that. I always felt like I looked so fat in my "modest" clothes. Those clothes in the picture above...I no longer own those. When I left home, I left those clothes and every bit of clothing I had like them. I will be honest. I am very grateful that my parents provided me with lots of clothes, but many of those clothing items I never want to see again...simply because I realize now how unflattering and legalistic they are. Like the words "authority" and "godly" and "modest", I cringe at the idea of a long skirt simply because of its association to my previous lifestyle. Don't take me wrong; some long skirts are very pretty and modesty has its proper place. But now I rarely wear a dress or a skirt that is longer than a few inches below my knee. And I avoid regular t-shirts as well. I wore t-shirts a lot growing up, partially because some of my t-shirts were the only things that actually fit me and I secretly wanted to wear clothes that fit me, like other girls, though I felt sinful for doing so.
Now here is a picture of me since I have moved out and managed to obtain some new and stylish clothing items (through the help of generous people and the clearance racks). And yes, that is my fiance with me in the picture and yes he is actually hugging me; (proponents of patriarchy, cover your eyes and sorry for the sarcasm):
Though outward appearance holds no weight in our salvation, I find these photos an interesting comparison for thought, evidence of what was and is going on in my heart. Legalism vs walking in the freedom of Christ. It is purely through the work of Christ that we are saved, not our outward apearances and "duty lists." Through His grace and love He transforms the hearts of those who believe in Him and makes them pure and righteous and gives them a desire to obey the commands that He does place in Scripture...and even though we mess up daily, He still loves us and sees us as righteous and covered with the blood of Christ.
My pastor is currently preaching through the book of Galatians and this morning he used an illustration that brought tears to my eyes. Imagine that it's Mother's Day or Father's Day...and each of your children makes you a card. One brings a card that is perfect, spotless, great penmanship...but they hand it to you with a look of "Ok, I've done my duty; here's your card." The other brings a card that is messy, hardly recognizable and has some milk or something spilled on it. And the child says, "Look, here's your card! I made it for you because I love you!" Which do you prefer?
As we as believers grow and walk in Christ, we must run to the beauty of the gospel daily, resting in His grace as He grows us in Christ, seeking Him as He gives us the love to truly follow and obey Him. And He takes our imperfect pictures and cards and loves them because we are His children.
Go and walk in the freedom and grace of Christ, realizing that is through His work alone that we are able to love Him and believe in Him. But don't abuse that freedom; obey His commands, not because it's your duty, but because He has placed the desire in your heart to obey Him because you love Him. And don't add to those commands; always remember...obeying rules won't make you a better Christian. You might look good on the outside, but it won't change your standing before God one bit. If you are a believer in Christ, you are covered by His blood and righteousness. If you are not a believer, you are not righteous no matter what you do to look righteous. It is only by the grace of God and the blood of Jesus Christ that you can be made righteous.
I cannot stress this enough.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
The Pain of Growth
My fiance has officially moved to a state that is 2,000 miles away; I probably won't see him until next April. It hurts.
However, it seems I am learning that through pain and brokenness comes dependence on the Lord, my healer and my redeemer. And, in my weakness, the strength of the Lord shines through.
I want the Lord to be glorified in my life so badly, through all these tough times...and I'm sure there will be more in the future.
My parents would possibly state that the Lord is punishing me by moving Blake to another state, or that He is demonstrating that it is not His will for Blake and I to be together.
Baloney.
Unless I were to get hit by a semi or something before the wedding, I know that it is God's will for Blake and I to be married. The past year has been a nightmare, but through that nightmare the Lord has saved me, drawn me to Himself, and showered grace and forgiveness on me; I am learning and beginning to truly understand His grace and mercy for the first time. As hard as it has been, I would not choose to remove every heartache of this past year, because it was through that heartache that the Lord brought me to Himself.
And now...as I sit here looking at a future that seems so uncertain, with Blake so far away... On one hand, I know that the Lord will grow me and love me just as He has done in the past year, and that He will be there always...that He will make my relationship with Blake and my relationship with Himself stronger through the separation. On the other hand, I feel uncertain and afraid and wish that maybe things could be a little different.
I must trust Him...but despite seeing Him working so mightily in my life in the past year, my humanness still finds it hard to trust. Oh for the grace to trust Him always! Part of me longs for Him and trusts Him, and another part of me says, "Please...I just want a brief relief, a respite, some happiness, some good news for a change."
As the Bible says...His strength is made perfect in weakness...after this year, I hope I will be a very strong in the Lord.
However, it seems I am learning that through pain and brokenness comes dependence on the Lord, my healer and my redeemer. And, in my weakness, the strength of the Lord shines through.
I want the Lord to be glorified in my life so badly, through all these tough times...and I'm sure there will be more in the future.
My parents would possibly state that the Lord is punishing me by moving Blake to another state, or that He is demonstrating that it is not His will for Blake and I to be together.
Baloney.
Unless I were to get hit by a semi or something before the wedding, I know that it is God's will for Blake and I to be married. The past year has been a nightmare, but through that nightmare the Lord has saved me, drawn me to Himself, and showered grace and forgiveness on me; I am learning and beginning to truly understand His grace and mercy for the first time. As hard as it has been, I would not choose to remove every heartache of this past year, because it was through that heartache that the Lord brought me to Himself.
And now...as I sit here looking at a future that seems so uncertain, with Blake so far away... On one hand, I know that the Lord will grow me and love me just as He has done in the past year, and that He will be there always...that He will make my relationship with Blake and my relationship with Himself stronger through the separation. On the other hand, I feel uncertain and afraid and wish that maybe things could be a little different.
I must trust Him...but despite seeing Him working so mightily in my life in the past year, my humanness still finds it hard to trust. Oh for the grace to trust Him always! Part of me longs for Him and trusts Him, and another part of me says, "Please...I just want a brief relief, a respite, some happiness, some good news for a change."
As the Bible says...His strength is made perfect in weakness...after this year, I hope I will be a very strong in the Lord.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
No Words
There are times when I wish to discuss and to talk...and then there are times when I just think...and think...and ask questions and study and think some more. This is one of those times.
So yeah...just so you know, I'm still here...I just have nothing to say at the moment. I've been thinking a lot of things through and hashing them out...one day all of it will come out in a huge torrent of words.
Until then...
So yeah...just so you know, I'm still here...I just have nothing to say at the moment. I've been thinking a lot of things through and hashing them out...one day all of it will come out in a huge torrent of words.
Until then...
Saturday, July 9, 2011
Visionary Daughters Strikes [Out] Again
Ok...does anyone else find this clip extremely disturbing?
http://westernconservatory.com/products/return-daughters-dvd
I've got news for you who endorse this film. You are sacrificing your daughters on the altar of following commandments of men, shoving them into formulas, forcing them to be identical cookie cutters...compelling them to give up their individuality and personal dreams...forcing them into a lifestyle of waiting and waiting and waiting for a husband, thinking that marriage and children are God's only and highest calling for every woman out there...as they wait and wait and wait for you, the patriarchical father, to approve of a man to marry them...and the whole time your are tricking them into thinking this bondage is the Biblical role of every woman. (Even if you don't realize these things...they are exactly what you're doing.) These ideas strip girls of their identity. God did not make people cookie cutters; He created each person different with different talents, different dreams. To say that it is wrong for a young woman to follow any dream besides motherhood...to say it is wrong for a young woman to pursue the talents and dreams God has given her, whether it be a fashion designer, a doctor, a lawyer, a cake decorator, a mother, the manager of a Wal-Mart...WHATEVER it may be.....to say that those things are wrong for a woman is unScriptural and absurd. Look...motherhood is great...and it's a wonderful calling...but it is NOT EVERY woman's highest calling. One woman may have the gift of singleness and can serve God best in a career. And that is just fine. [And side note: If one of the young women who follow this mindset loses their dad or their husband, how are they going to survive without having had any training at all in the real world? I think it's healthy for every woman to either get some practice working a job and some training in a particular field, or go to college...either one. Just food for thought.]
These people claim that they're not sacrificing their daughters in trying to please men, but that is EXACTLY what they ARE doing. Pleasing men and pleasing themselves. They claim they are following Christ, but I see a problem with their claim. Why? Because Christ came to set us free, and these people are binding others up with their personal rules...NOT upholding the gospel. The gospel is grace and freedom and it's about what God has done, not what we've done or are doing. Following Christ is not about list of rules to make you more holy. If it was, I wouldn't be following Him. What is the gospel? The gospel is when the God of this universe reached down and opened my eyes to receive Him, adopted me as His child, and set me free from the sin and guilt that was exposed in my life by His law. He filled me with His love and set me free to walk in Him and seek Him. That's what the Scripture says! It's that simple. Stop adding to it. It's that beautiful. Stop making it ugly. It's the truth. Stop distorting it; the smallest amount of distortion makes truth into a lie. What you promoters of this film teach is a lie.
http://westernconservatory.com/products/return-daughters-dvd
I've got news for you who endorse this film. You are sacrificing your daughters on the altar of following commandments of men, shoving them into formulas, forcing them to be identical cookie cutters...compelling them to give up their individuality and personal dreams...forcing them into a lifestyle of waiting and waiting and waiting for a husband, thinking that marriage and children are God's only and highest calling for every woman out there...as they wait and wait and wait for you, the patriarchical father, to approve of a man to marry them...and the whole time your are tricking them into thinking this bondage is the Biblical role of every woman. (Even if you don't realize these things...they are exactly what you're doing.) These ideas strip girls of their identity. God did not make people cookie cutters; He created each person different with different talents, different dreams. To say that it is wrong for a young woman to follow any dream besides motherhood...to say it is wrong for a young woman to pursue the talents and dreams God has given her, whether it be a fashion designer, a doctor, a lawyer, a cake decorator, a mother, the manager of a Wal-Mart...WHATEVER it may be.....to say that those things are wrong for a woman is unScriptural and absurd. Look...motherhood is great...and it's a wonderful calling...but it is NOT EVERY woman's highest calling. One woman may have the gift of singleness and can serve God best in a career. And that is just fine. [And side note: If one of the young women who follow this mindset loses their dad or their husband, how are they going to survive without having had any training at all in the real world? I think it's healthy for every woman to either get some practice working a job and some training in a particular field, or go to college...either one. Just food for thought.]
These people claim that they're not sacrificing their daughters in trying to please men, but that is EXACTLY what they ARE doing. Pleasing men and pleasing themselves. They claim they are following Christ, but I see a problem with their claim. Why? Because Christ came to set us free, and these people are binding others up with their personal rules...NOT upholding the gospel. The gospel is grace and freedom and it's about what God has done, not what we've done or are doing. Following Christ is not about list of rules to make you more holy. If it was, I wouldn't be following Him. What is the gospel? The gospel is when the God of this universe reached down and opened my eyes to receive Him, adopted me as His child, and set me free from the sin and guilt that was exposed in my life by His law. He filled me with His love and set me free to walk in Him and seek Him. That's what the Scripture says! It's that simple. Stop adding to it. It's that beautiful. Stop making it ugly. It's the truth. Stop distorting it; the smallest amount of distortion makes truth into a lie. What you promoters of this film teach is a lie.
If there is still any doubt, read this:
"6 I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting him who called you in the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— 7 not that there is another one, but there are some who trouble you and want to distort the gospel of Christ. 8 But even if we or an angel from heaven should preach to you a gospel contrary to the one we preached to you, let him be accursed. 9 As we have said before, so now I say again: If anyone is preaching to you a gospel contrary to the one you received, let him be accursed.
10 For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ."
~Galatians 1:6-10
Thursday, June 23, 2011
The Controversy Over 1 Corinthians 7, Part #1
I may be jumping in over my head here at this time...but I have decided to (well, try to) write some posts on the entire chapter of 1 Corinthians 7. This chapter tends to be very controversial and is also one of the most misused chapters in the Bible (in my experience), particularly by those who are part of the patriarchical/courtship crowd. Just yesterday, I received a phone call from a young woman, a friend of mine, whose family does betrothal. She wanted to ask me questions about my situation with my family. Of course, like most others who believe that parents MUST give their blessing in order for the marriage to be godly, this young woman used 1 Cor. 7 in an attempt to prove her point. 1 Corinthians 7 also has some teaching on divorce, which can be confusing and controversial as well. As I tried to go to sleep last night, this chapter kept running through my mind and I decided that I wished to tackle it and get it worked out in my own mind. Hopefully my musings and study will be beneficial to others as well. So... Here we go.
First of all, here is the entire chapter for your perusal. (This is the New American Standard Version. To those who may be King James onlyists, I don't dislike the KJV, but there is no evidence that the KJV of the Bible is "holier" than any other Bible translation, English or no. And I'd be happy to thoroughly tackle that subject at some point too, if necessary. It is a pet peeve of mine.) But anyway...
"1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command. 7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband 11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
17 Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches. 18 Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. 20 Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called.
21 Were you called while a slave? Do not worry about it; but if you are able also to become free, rather do that. 22 For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord’s freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called.
25 Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. 26 I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. 29 But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; 30 and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; 31 and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away.
32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.
36 But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. 37 But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. 38 So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.
39 A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God."
~1 Corinthians 7:1-40
For now, I'll just let you read the verses (and I'll read them too) and in my next post I'll start tackling this passage. I have understood 1 Corinthians 7 in a twisted, legalistic way for most of my life, and am excited to be able to come at it with the perspective of one who used to be imprisoned by legalism forced out of this chapter, but is now free to truly study and understand it in the way it was meant to be understood, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Yay!
First of all, here is the entire chapter for your perusal. (This is the New American Standard Version. To those who may be King James onlyists, I don't dislike the KJV, but there is no evidence that the KJV of the Bible is "holier" than any other Bible translation, English or no. And I'd be happy to thoroughly tackle that subject at some point too, if necessary. It is a pet peeve of mine.) But anyway...
"1 Now concerning the things about which you wrote, it is good for a man not to touch a woman. 2 But because of immoralities, each man is to have his own wife, and each woman is to have her own husband. 3 The husband must fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. 4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Stop depriving one another, except by agreement for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 But this I say by way of concession, not of command. 7 Yet I wish that all men were even as I myself am. However, each man has his own gift from God, one in this manner, and another in that.
8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
10 But to the married I give instructions, not I, but the Lord, that the wife should not leave her husband 11 (but if she does leave, she must remain unmarried, or else be reconciled to her husband), and that the husband should not divorce his wife.
12 But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. 13 And a woman who has an unbelieving husband, and he consents to live with her, she must not send her husband away. 14 For the unbelieving husband is sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified through her believing husband; for otherwise your children are unclean, but now they are holy. 15 Yet if the unbelieving one leaves, let him leave; the brother or the sister is not under bondage in such cases, but God has called us to peace. 16 For how do you know, O wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you will save your wife?
17 Only, as the Lord has assigned to each one, as God has called each, in this manner let him walk. And so I direct in all the churches. 18 Was any man called when he was already circumcised? He is not to become uncircumcised. Has anyone been called in uncircumcision? He is not to be circumcised. 19 Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but what matters is the keeping of the commandments of God. 20 Each man must remain in that condition in which he was called.
21 Were you called while a slave? Do not worry about it; but if you are able also to become free, rather do that. 22 For he who was called in the Lord while a slave, is the Lord’s freedman; likewise he who was called while free, is Christ’s slave. 23 You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men. 24 Brethren, each one is to remain with God in that condition in which he was called.
25 Now concerning virgins I have no command of the Lord, but I give an opinion as one who by the mercy of the Lord is trustworthy. 26 I think then that this is good in view of the present distress, that it is good for a man to remain as he is. 27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be released. Are you released from a wife? Do not seek a wife. 28 But if you marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. Yet such will have trouble in this life, and I am trying to spare you. 29 But this I say, brethren, the time has been shortened, so that from now on those who have wives should be as though they had none; 30 and those who weep, as though they did not weep; and those who rejoice, as though they did not rejoice; and those who buy, as though they did not possess; 31 and those who use the world, as though they did not make full use of it; for the form of this world is passing away.
32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; 33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord.
36 But if any man thinks that he is acting unbecomingly toward his virgin daughter, if she is past her youth, and if it must be so, let him do what he wishes, he does not sin; let her marry. 37 But he who stands firm in his heart, being under no constraint, but has authority over his own will, and has decided this in his own heart, to keep his own virgin daughter, he will do well. 38 So then both he who gives his own virgin daughter in marriage does well, and he who does not give her in marriage will do better.
39 A wife is bound as long as her husband lives; but if her husband is dead, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord. 40 But in my opinion she is happier if she remains as she is; and I think that I also have the Spirit of God."
~1 Corinthians 7:1-40
For now, I'll just let you read the verses (and I'll read them too) and in my next post I'll start tackling this passage. I have understood 1 Corinthians 7 in a twisted, legalistic way for most of my life, and am excited to be able to come at it with the perspective of one who used to be imprisoned by legalism forced out of this chapter, but is now free to truly study and understand it in the way it was meant to be understood, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Yay!
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