Here I am about two years ago, assisting one of my cousins with a conference for young ladies (the conference was very much a spin-off of things ATI, as you can see by my "godly" attire):
There's no way I would wear that outfit now unless I was going to another country to preach the gospel and that was their clothing style. (Then I might do so.) Now I will clarify that on a day to day basis I did not dress like this, though I usually did wear things like that to church during high school and my first years of college. My family was not as strict on clothes as some people in the vision forum/Gothard/Botkin crowd. Until my junior-senior years of college, my daily attire typically consisted of a rather unstylish conglomeration of whatever I thought looked best on me...including high-waisted jeans (they were more "modest" than bootcut), and what I wore was usually a size too big because I was pretty much taught that nothing I wore should show much shape...occasionally a long dress could make an exception with that. I always felt like I looked so fat in my "modest" clothes. Those clothes in the picture above...I no longer own those. When I left home, I left those clothes and every bit of clothing I had like them. I will be honest. I am very grateful that my parents provided me with lots of clothes, but many of those clothing items I never want to see again...simply because I realize now how unflattering and legalistic they are. Like the words "authority" and "godly" and "modest", I cringe at the idea of a long skirt simply because of its association to my previous lifestyle. Don't take me wrong; some long skirts are very pretty and modesty has its proper place. But now I rarely wear a dress or a skirt that is longer than a few inches below my knee. And I avoid regular t-shirts as well. I wore t-shirts a lot growing up, partially because some of my t-shirts were the only things that actually fit me and I secretly wanted to wear clothes that fit me, like other girls, though I felt sinful for doing so.
Now here is a picture of me since I have moved out and managed to obtain some new and stylish clothing items (through the help of generous people and the clearance racks). And yes, that is my fiance with me in the picture and yes he is actually hugging me; (proponents of patriarchy, cover your eyes and sorry for the sarcasm):
Though outward appearance holds no weight in our salvation, I find these photos an interesting comparison for thought, evidence of what was and is going on in my heart. Legalism vs walking in the freedom of Christ. It is purely through the work of Christ that we are saved, not our outward apearances and "duty lists." Through His grace and love He transforms the hearts of those who believe in Him and makes them pure and righteous and gives them a desire to obey the commands that He does place in Scripture...and even though we mess up daily, He still loves us and sees us as righteous and covered with the blood of Christ.
My pastor is currently preaching through the book of Galatians and this morning he used an illustration that brought tears to my eyes. Imagine that it's Mother's Day or Father's Day...and each of your children makes you a card. One brings a card that is perfect, spotless, great penmanship...but they hand it to you with a look of "Ok, I've done my duty; here's your card." The other brings a card that is messy, hardly recognizable and has some milk or something spilled on it. And the child says, "Look, here's your card! I made it for you because I love you!" Which do you prefer?
As we as believers grow and walk in Christ, we must run to the beauty of the gospel daily, resting in His grace as He grows us in Christ, seeking Him as He gives us the love to truly follow and obey Him. And He takes our imperfect pictures and cards and loves them because we are His children.
Go and walk in the freedom and grace of Christ, realizing that is through His work alone that we are able to love Him and believe in Him. But don't abuse that freedom; obey His commands, not because it's your duty, but because He has placed the desire in your heart to obey Him because you love Him. And don't add to those commands; always remember...obeying rules won't make you a better Christian. You might look good on the outside, but it won't change your standing before God one bit. If you are a believer in Christ, you are covered by His blood and righteousness. If you are not a believer, you are not righteous no matter what you do to look righteous. It is only by the grace of God and the blood of Jesus Christ that you can be made righteous.
I cannot stress this enough.
As an atheist, I don't think there is any such thing as being "righteous" or "not righteous."
ReplyDeleteHowever, like you, I underwent a similar style change, from my frumpy high school and early college days (we're talking homemade dresses) to finally starting to wear actual stylish clothes halfway through college. And stylish does not have to mean "immodest." :-P
What I have had to recently learn (and am still learning!) is that righteousness is not the result of human acts or works. Rather righteousness is something that Christ imparts to believers through His work on the cross. He not only forgives their sins, but clothes them in His righteousness as well; amazing.
ReplyDeleteAnd no, stylish does not have to mean immodest. :) I greatly enjoy my stylish clothes. Looking back at my high school pictures in comparison to now, I am amazed and grateful at the difference in clothing and priorities.
The whole modesty thing in these patriarchy/Gothard/Vision Forum families also ignores the fact that people are different shapes and sizes, with different features. Creativity and style in dress is often squelched in the name of extreme modesty and conformity.
ReplyDeleteAs for righteousness, the way I see it, there are loving and kind people, and judgmental and narrow-minded people, in every religious tradition (or lack thereof). I honestly don't think anyone's religious beliefs (or lack of them) makes them "righteous" or "unrighteous." I think people are just people, and we should pull together and accept each other and work towards the greater good rather than arguing over a given verse or rejecting those who don't fit into the little boxes we make.
ReplyDeleteAs for the idea of righteousness you discuss, that's the evangelical understanding I got growing up. My parents stressed that we were made righteous through Christ, not through our works. In practice, though, if we didn't act just so or dress just so or talk just so, they questioned whether we were actually "in Christ" or not. It was because they believed that Jesus really spoke to them and had given them all their beliefs, and that anyone else who listened to Jesus would hear the same thing. The result was a horrible enforced conformity, not "freedom in Christ." I find this fascinating.
Finally, the whole modesty teaching also ignores cultural differences. There are countries where it is completely normal for women to go around with bare breasts (i.e. in Africa), or for people to swim naked (in much of Europe). These people aren't perverted, they are just culturally different. Gothard's standards don't allow for that kind of thing, and by trying to cover girls up, they in the end actually only serve to further sexualize girls. Weird, I know!
Your parents understanding of righteousness was one of their own creation, it sounds like.
ReplyDeleteThe extreme standards of Gothard and others like him make people more paranoid and focused about sex than they would normally be, quite frankly; it backfires and has the opposite effect of what is intended.
You look so much more relaxed and happier in the 2nd picture. :)
ReplyDelete