Living Life

I haven't been in the blogging world for some time, though I have missed my writing.
Over the past however many months it has been since I last wrote, I have been adjusting and learning to live as an independent young lady.  It hasn't been easy...at times it's been a huge, downright frustrating struggle. 
Everyone goes through growing up and learning to be on your own at somepoint, but it's been a unique and very fast experience for me...after being overly sheltered for so long.
The Lord has been with me though and continues to be with me...growing me to be more like Him, while giving me the strength and courage to tackle the simple and not-so-simple issues of everyday life.
I am now working a full-time job that I love, driving my own car, paying my own bills, and looking forward to the day when I will be married to the most wonderful man I have ever met, Blake.

I can go see a good movie without feeling guilty for going to such an evil place as the "movie theatre".
I can occasionally go splurge on a pretty dress and wear it without feeling guilty for enjoying a pretty outfit.
I can wear earrings every day without wondering whether or not it is "godly" to put something in my ears that God didn't create there.
I can pursue interests I always wanted to pursue, like going to self defense classes and gun shows without my parents refusing to let me go (I was 20 at the time) and telling me that doing such things is not "ladylike" or is "wrong".
I can work full time and love my job and be good at my job without feeling sad or guilty that I'm not already a stay at home wife/mom.
I can go to a church filled with non-legalistic people who love the Lord and each other without being guilty for leaving the self-righteous group of believers I was surrounded by for so long.

A few months ago I walked onto a car lot and bought a newer car because my old, temporary one had, well, croaked.  After some negotiating advice from my fiance's dad and my fiance, I marched onto the lot, scared and worried because all my life I thought only men were supposed to negotiate such things.  And guess what?  I made myself a good deal and drove away in a newer, good car, and the care salesperson shook their head at me and remarked, "You're one tough cookie."  That seems like such a strange thing to be excited about, but for me, that was a huge step...huge.  I was so excited.

Life still has it's difficulties...and it's hurts and it's fears...as to be expected...but the Lord is with me and I will one day be married to a wonderful man.  Despite the pain of growing...the pain of losing my family...the pain of continuing trials...I am blessed.

And I'm still learning...I always will be.